Rice Krispies!

Well anything that goes snap crackle and pop is never a good thing especially if you land with all your weight on a pivoted ankle avoiding your sitemate looking to take a charge.  The last few days have been anything but trying, frustrating, hilarious and just a Guatemalan Peace Corps experience. 

It all started Saturday night.  I was playing in a hyped up basketball game where my team highlighting their foreigner (me) took on another team highlighting their foreign player (Javier my sitemate).  There was talk the days leading up who was going to win and what type of a game it was going to be.  Needless to say we won the game but after some heated plays, an ejection, and some technical fouls.  With about 5 minutes left to play, I crossed over a player for the defending team and opened up the baseline which I drove to only find my sitemate post up looking to take a charge.  I jumped, shifted my weight, not wanting to pummel him over or jump over him to make him the laughing stock of the town but instead, I breezed past him to only land on the metal tubing below the basketball hoop that acts as support.  AS I landed I pivoted my ankle with all my weight on my toes with a twisting motion putting me heel on the ground over my toes, that only let me fall in a manner that lead to 3 loud sounds that resembled the motto from the famous rice krispies.   SNAP CRACKLE AND POP!  Game over.  Ive done enough sports in my day to know that any rapid sequence of sounds followed by immediate pain and warm gushing swelling sensation only equals bad news. 

Rigged up a boot shoe...thank you chucks

This is when the debauchery started.  Someone gave me ice which I immediately put on the affected area and held it on for the rest of the game.  Then after the game people came up to me and told me it wasn’t that bad that it was nothing that it was funny to see a big grino land and yell in pain.  Just no respect from the Guatemalans but its part of their culture here to see someone in pain, to just look and stare, and if it is someone they know laugh.  Anyways, after having ice on the injury for a few minutes, a friend said he needed to see the ice.  I said yeah just bring it back in a few minutes which he obliged to do.   I then ask him for the ice about 5 minutes later and he says he doesn’t have it anymore, that he broke it up and put it in his drinks he was having with his friends.  HA!  With that being said there are a lot of alcoholics here in Malacatancito.  Sad, but its true.  Cold drinks take priority to a bum ankle….I cant say im totally opposed to it. 

Some bruising on the toes...cant imagine what the ankle area would look like.

The next day I just rested and walked minimally but was astonished at the amount of swelling and the color changing.  I showed my sitemate the next day and he suggested it getting looked at.  I called the Peace Corps office the next morning and went to the Xela Hospital again, the place where I had such a hellish time when I had dengue.  On the way down I told my Javi about how much I detested this place and that I wanted to spend limited time there.  We got there the secretary/receptionist told me to go right in and have a seat on the bench.  As we waited close to two hours I finally asked the doctors what was taking long, and they told us “We thought you were family members just waiting to see your friend, we didn’t know what you were here for.”  Really annoying.  After that I was seen, had xrays with in 30 minutes.  After that the doctor looked at the affected colorful area and she told me 'yes, there is a fracture in there'.  Javi came in the room after, looked at me asked ‘’whats the prognosis’ and all I could tell him was, ‘she used the f word,’ Javi looked at me and said ‘a doctor that knows Spanish, cool!’ ‘No man, fractura I was told’. SOL.  The next thing I know, a nurse comes in at 1pm with a wheel chair and tells me that it is time to go to my room.  ‘A ROOM FOR WHAT!’ ‘Well your spending the night.’ That was absolutely the worst news to me at that time.  Seriously for a bum ankle I was going to have to spend the night.

Thinking quickly, and remembering quickly about my luxurious stay a few months before and how incredibly heartwarming the food and comfort was, I looked to Javi and told him ‘We going to McDonald’s or some decent establishment before I admit myself for the damn night.’ Obviously there were other words in there but I was nonetheless beyond aggravated.  I did not bring anything with me to the hospital, no books, no nothing. 

I looked at the nursing staff told them I would return in a few hours after I got a decent meal in my only to be looked at strangely by a nurse who told me assertively “You need to stay here, you will have a special diet here for you to eat.”  Of course I clamored ‘A special diet for what?!” “Oh its going to help get rid of your X-rays.” I looked her and told her that I knew most certainly that a McDonald’s diet would really get rid of them and looked for the door.  I almost lost it right there and started just knowing that this was going to snowball into a horrible experience yet again.  One of the doctors there acknowledged that I wanted something respectable to eat before going to jail and told me I could go.  As I was walking out the door, the same doctor told me that I needed to be seen by the doctor that the Peace Corps has on call in Xela.  She had just left for lunch. So we waited and waited.  Soon I received a phone call from Peace Head Quarters asking “Franklin what is going on?  We just got a call from the hospital that you are trying to escape or something.”  Granted I may have looked a little less than enthusiastic about staying, and I did beg the Peace Corps Office to stay home for the night, I did not try to escape.  Seriously, if I wanted to escape what was I going to do?  Sprint out of the room full speed ahead with a fractures in the ankle, there is some disconnect in this logic….

We ended up waiting for about 2 hours and the Doctor never came, so I left my number with the nurses and limped down the street determined to get me some good food before I imprisoned myself.  I came across a Wendy’s and indulged myself with a delicious spicy chicken sandwich.  Thank you Dave Thomas! 

Back at the hospital I went and wheeled myself into my cell.  There a simple ice pack was put on my leg to ‘reduce the swelling’ for about 30 minutes.  Seriously without a medical degree (Matt feel free to correct me on this) but for the amount of swelling I saw and had, it was going to take a good 24 hours, a ice boot and serious ibuprofen to get that thing looking somewhat normal again.  Then by 6:30pm my main course was served which I just let sit and to the astonishment of the nurses I wasn’t hungry.   The specialist came in took off the wrapped sheet with the icepack swelling reducer 3000 machine and exclaimed ‘Puchica!”  which in Guatemala means ‘Wow’ or just an exclamation of surprise.  That’s the last I wanted to hear was a specialist come in and me surprised with what he was dealing.  Not the most comforting thing. Good grief!  Well after a few minutes talking to him he tried talking in English which was as futile as reducing the swelling in my leg.  He put me in a cast from my toes to my knee and here I am.  I asked him if I could leave the next morning which he said would be no problem.  At this point I was pretty certain that this hospital was just keeping me there to run up the bill and knew that Peace Corps would have to pay anything that they were charged for. 

Next morning, I wake up at 6:30 in hopes of getting out by 8ish-9ish the latest.  I ask the first nurse that comes in, when the Doctor is coming.  They told me within the hour.  This happened every hour and frustration grew and grew as each hour passed and passed.  Thankfully Javi came in and helped  pass time as he was waiting for medicine in Xela too.  He can attest to the ridiculousness.  We waited and waited and then finally a nurse came in and wanted to know how I would be getting back to my site.  I told them that I ride the camionetas which just dumbfounded them.  Ill leave it at that.

Then the best part of this story and the best way of Guatemalan logic I can ever explain.  The attending doctor comes in and asks.  “How are you going to get around when get a taxi back to your site?” “Ill need crutches” I said “Oh ok, where are crutches you brought down?” “I don’t have any” I replied. “Well you need crutches because you can’t walk like that without crutches,” the doctor told me.  “Well I need crutches then” “Well we don’t have any so what are you going to do” “Well I obviously need crutches because I can’t walk per doctors orders” I said, to it was just this circular logic or not being able to get this doctor to understand that A.) I am not allowed to walk without crutches, therefore I need crutches to be able to walk.  B)Without crutches I am unable to leave the hospital, if the hospital does not have crutches how would I ever be able to leave? It was just one damned thing after another.  Finally after waiting 6 hours the specialist came in and told me I was good to leave once I had crutches but he did not know what to do about not having crutches as well. Repeat to top for sequence of events again with another doctor.  So he told me I needed to go across the city to buy a pair at his office.  Go figure. 

The Crutches after the crutch conundrum

The doctor told me I would need the cast for 3-4 weeks.  I told him I can do something for it.  I kindly gave him the option of having me cut the cast off in 2 weeks by myself or allowing him to do so.  I know my body well and I have messed up ankles before.  So I bargained the doctor down to two weeks for having the cast on. 

We waited to get the cab outside so I could just get some fresh air and feel the hopes of freedom.  The cab came 30 minutes later and we went to the clinic where the doctor worked at.  Javi said he would run up tot eh second floor and save me the trouble of going up but only to come down a solid 45 minutes later, just one thing after another.  Then on the cab home we hit speed bumps in the taxi catching air from time to time as the taxi driver’s Dad sat in the back drinking a cold one.

Its good to get back to my house finally but the itching that occurs at night is annoying when it disrupts the sleep just as you have gotten used to roosters crowing, fireworks at all hours, and the dogs barking insistently.  So in two weeks I hope to have the cast off and in a few more weeks walking and running around with the kids and friends I have made here.  Argggh!