Decisions to be made!

Detailed in my last blog, there are numerous changes affecting Guatemala right now.  Within PC Guatemala, the Regional Director Carlos Torres has advised that the administration take the following steps:

1.)Relocate volunteers that are deemed to be living in ‘Unsafe areas.’ These unsafe areas are the departments of Huehuetenango (where my site is), San Marcos, Alta and Baja Verapaz, the Oriente (everything east of Guatemala City) and the coast.  Basically half of all volunteers are being evacuated from their sites and have the choice to relocate within Guatemala or go back to the states.

2.) Offer early COS to any and all volunteers regardless of time spent in country.  This measure is to decrease numbers of overall volunteer size.

3.) Have a transportation system to help with security and volunteer well being.  This means no more camionetas or renovated old discarded school busses.  Now PC Guatemala will have to provide us with private transportation to and from our destination on major highways and roads.

So where does this leave me?  I have until February 10^th to let PC know if I decide to come home or try to move sites and start again.  Going home is a very easy option.  I can return to the states, start the application to graduate schools and begin to plan what the next move career wise will be and how best I can give myself the opportunity to do so.  Or, I can stay here and explore the unexpected all over again.  The benefit of this unexpected is knowing what I know now.  With my Spanish being understandable, I will avoid most of the normal growing/learning pains of the new language.  I know where most things are, how the culture operates and have a little more confidence in what I am doing.  The downsides will be moving, doing the whole readjustment thing all over again, and meeting new people.  Do not get me wrong on the meeting new people.  I thoroughly enjoy meeting new people.  The fact is, meeting someone versus getting to know someone in a professional development aspect takes time, patience and certain situations to give you that crucial insight on how people react and what their tendencies are.  I have all these comforts here currently in Malacatancito.  I know who to go to for certain things and who to talk to about certain subjects or help.  I will have to take about 2-3 months in a new site before bearings are really set and the ability to working comfortable and confidently will set in.  This is the dilemma. 

Thomas, Nic, Justin and myself on top of Volcano Santa Maria.
This photo was taken just before a 6.1 earthquake hit!

On going home, it seems daunting right now because I do not have anything planned.  I still have goals for myself here within Guatemala.  One of those priorities is becoming fluent in Spanish, and accomplishing a few projects, something that is tangible and visible.  With more time being here in Guatemala can only help build on these experiences.  Either way, be it staying here in Guatemala or coming back home to the states both represent the unknown and both represent endless possibilities to whatever can happen. 

I am just distraught over the simple fact that I have made these connections here in my current town of Malacatancito.  I am just getting everything set to finish up my time in site with the culmination of projects that will show for all the hard work we have done.  What scares me is knowing the first 6 months in site here were tough, the toughest time in site as everything was new and the foundation was being set.  Back then, I knew I had time on my side and knew everything would pan out because I had two years ahead of me.  Now, in a new site, with new people, starting all over, what will I be able to do, telling people I only have 6 months to work with them?  This is where my conscience and thought process are analyzing and challenging my continuing.  The simple question is - in the 6 or so months I have remaining here in Guatemala, will I be able to accomplish substantial things such as projects that are designed and managed by the Guatemalans in such a short time period?  Or in those six months, can I find a job in the states or wherever and get more accomplished in that time period as I still set my sights on the future?  Timing is everything right?  Argggg…..

Visiting with Peace Corps Director Aaron Williams

I hope to be able to visit potential sites in the upcoming days that will grant me a little view into the workings of new sites and the people in them.  With that information I can only hope to make a decision and the go into it with all my heart, 110%. 

A recent moon rise in my town of Malacatancito