Changes in Guatemala

As of late, Peace Corps Guatemala and Peace Corps programs in Honduras and El Salvador have undergone some serious changes.  These changes have led PC Guatemala to ‘implement specific initiatives to ensure, to the maximum extent possible, that volunteers serving in Guatemala will do as safely as possible.’  But the question I have been asking myself lately is: At what point does the priority of safety and security for PCVs trump the overall effectiveness and purpose of our service?  As listed below are some of the new measures that will be implemented.

-- Decreasing the overall volunteer population by having certain programs close their service (COS) early.

--Clustering of volunteers which means to close certain regions of the country and relocated volunteers closer together in other sites deemed ‘safe’ by PC Washington and PC Guatemala.

      --Granted any volunteer regardless of time spent in Guatemala an early COS or chance to go back to the states with the benefits of completing the full two years.

Over the past week, I have gone through a whirlwind of emotions.   Measure two will take me out of my site here in Malacatancito Huehuetenango, where I have spent the last 16 months working and living.  Needless to say there have been struggles, successes, ups and downs, but all of these challenges and breakthroughs have shaped what I know to be Malacatancito.  I am just upset and extremely disappointed to know that I have to change sites and face the remaining 8 months working in a new community (that is if I choose to do so).  My immediate concerns were - I am expected to break ground in mid February for my bottle school - I have promised a community the hope of a better future -There are countless donors in the states that have donated their money and time and that I have other communities looking to develop and gain experience with project proposals and applications.  What now?  Am I supposed to abandon my friendships and my work that I have poured myself into these past 16 months?

I am upset and just worried about what will happen, what I will be allowed to do and what I can hopefully finish.  An All Volunteer Conference will be taking place tomorrow until Thursday.   Hopefully, we will receive more information about plans as a team from PC Washington and the regional director will be meeting with us over the course of the next three days to explain the current conundrum we are in. 

I have 8 months left according to my Peace Corps commitment and contract that we signed before we were sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers.  We are at the time of entering the country given a PC Handbook stating expectations and guidelines for all PCVs.  On the first page of the handbook is a famous quote about the Peace Corps by JFK immediately followed by the 10 core expectations for PCVs. Here are two that I seem to be thinking about as of late.

#4 Recognize that your successful and sustainable development work is based on the local trust and confidence you build by living in, and respectfully integrating yourself into, your host community and culture.

 #9 Recognize that you will be perceived, in your host country and community, as a representative of the people, cultures, values, and traditions of the United States of America. 

Since being in site, I have fully devoted myself to integration and doing my best to be respectful to all people by having conversations, offering a hand in whatever it may be, and most importantly, by being an active member of the community.  By abruptly leaving right now, with all the ground work for projects done, with the fruits of our labor and hard work almost attainable, I am leaving communities at their most hopeful and vulnerable times.  This then brings me back to expectations #4 and #9.  How by removing myself, will that trust and confidence be affected?  Forget the success, but that then leads right up to being how I will be perceived, or how Americans will be perceived for that matter in my town. 

The municipal development program has had a tough time so far.  We have had to face the end of an administration where works and plans are wrapping up, an election/campaign season and then lame duck municipalities that were not reelected and just waiting out their terms.  Now, finally, as we are working with newly elected administrations with no fear of looming elections, work gearing up, projects starting, support for us is strong, now, at this most ideal sought after chance, where we pinned our hopes during our most frustrating times, we have to leave and abandon that opportunity that we had waited so patiently for.  

So I am left with a lot of unanswered questions and what to do next.  Hopefully by the end of the week, after the meetings I will have a better understanding of the situation.  Until then...

Familiarity

I recently wrote in my journal the other day reflecting on how things have gone in Guatemala.  I usually reserve journal entries for more personal reflections and more unguarded thoughts, feelings and ideas. 

Oct 4^th 2011,

-There was a moment last night when I was walking down the street by myself.  I was heading to my sitemates house and while walking I was just aware of my surroundings.  Many times people walk and they are in a hurry, thinking about the next thing they have to do, worried about something they have yet to do or just simply being preoccupied with some external thing.  Maybe this experience was just at that moment being in that moment, being fully in the present.  I simply felt comfortable, I felt at ease.  Here I am in this completely different culture, surrounded by a different language, thoughts, logics and way of life and here I am comfortable.  Now it’s a familiar culture, a familiar language, a familiar place.

There was a cool breeze whipping up the fog that was gathering on the brick laid streets and the smell of the rain still fresh.  I smelt earth: dirt, plants, and simply life.  A smoky trace to the newly cooled humid air fused by the wood burning stoves enlightened my experience as it was a mix of worlds combining; one being on the east coast in cooler seasons and the other in the tropical island of Guam at the same time.  Interesting how the past comes back.  But with the new mix of places lived, places visited, I felt at home.  I was, well…I can’t explain. I was comfortable, but that’s not all.  I was at peace, calm, relaxed and just…..it was something I’ll remember a long time.  It was just walking down the street, having people great you, a familiar smile and hand wave, but people also knowing who you are and you knowing them.  I realized there it was something greater than being a volunteer.  It was the feeling of belonging to something greater, knowing that I am part of a community not because I am there doing work and ‘giving’ to a community but knowing that the community was giving back and there was the relationship between one and the community. 

Guatemala has had its ups and downs, even its stalling moments.  It is hard to explain to anyone outside the bubble of this life.  Guatemalans won’t understand it and neither will most people stateside.  So how do I go about describing it? It’s such a personal solitary experience.  Maybe I don’t even understand fully. I do still have a year, and many RPCV’s say they still learn and appreciate things well after their time at post is over.  One thing is true thus far, it has taught me what is important to me, what I want out of life.  It is an endless journey but a journey worth traveling because each day comes with the expected anticipation of the unexpected.  I am here living in Guatemala.  Sure work is tough, frustrating, and sometimes seem even futile, but this is part of the journey and I am glad to be on this journey right now at this time in my life.  I know I belong here.