Familiarity

I recently wrote in my journal the other day reflecting on how things have gone in Guatemala.  I usually reserve journal entries for more personal reflections and more unguarded thoughts, feelings and ideas. 

Oct 4^th 2011,

-There was a moment last night when I was walking down the street by myself.  I was heading to my sitemates house and while walking I was just aware of my surroundings.  Many times people walk and they are in a hurry, thinking about the next thing they have to do, worried about something they have yet to do or just simply being preoccupied with some external thing.  Maybe this experience was just at that moment being in that moment, being fully in the present.  I simply felt comfortable, I felt at ease.  Here I am in this completely different culture, surrounded by a different language, thoughts, logics and way of life and here I am comfortable.  Now it’s a familiar culture, a familiar language, a familiar place.

There was a cool breeze whipping up the fog that was gathering on the brick laid streets and the smell of the rain still fresh.  I smelt earth: dirt, plants, and simply life.  A smoky trace to the newly cooled humid air fused by the wood burning stoves enlightened my experience as it was a mix of worlds combining; one being on the east coast in cooler seasons and the other in the tropical island of Guam at the same time.  Interesting how the past comes back.  But with the new mix of places lived, places visited, I felt at home.  I was, well…I can’t explain. I was comfortable, but that’s not all.  I was at peace, calm, relaxed and just…..it was something I’ll remember a long time.  It was just walking down the street, having people great you, a familiar smile and hand wave, but people also knowing who you are and you knowing them.  I realized there it was something greater than being a volunteer.  It was the feeling of belonging to something greater, knowing that I am part of a community not because I am there doing work and ‘giving’ to a community but knowing that the community was giving back and there was the relationship between one and the community. 

Guatemala has had its ups and downs, even its stalling moments.  It is hard to explain to anyone outside the bubble of this life.  Guatemalans won’t understand it and neither will most people stateside.  So how do I go about describing it? It’s such a personal solitary experience.  Maybe I don’t even understand fully. I do still have a year, and many RPCV’s say they still learn and appreciate things well after their time at post is over.  One thing is true thus far, it has taught me what is important to me, what I want out of life.  It is an endless journey but a journey worth traveling because each day comes with the expected anticipation of the unexpected.  I am here living in Guatemala.  Sure work is tough, frustrating, and sometimes seem even futile, but this is part of the journey and I am glad to be on this journey right now at this time in my life.  I know I belong here. 

Elections and life after....

After first getting into country over a year ago and especially working within local government, Peace Corps made it clear that September 2011 was going to be a big month.  Why?  Elections.  On September 11^th, local and national elections took place.  In my municipality the current administration was defeated handily and the new administration will take over in January.  Leading up to the elections, not much work was being done as there were serious efforts and pushes to campaign.  Now, I have the problem of working in a lame duck administration that does not want to do anything except to just leave things the way they are.  So, in the next months I will work with people who know they will not have jobs come the new year.  Its pretty futile trying to convince people that we still need to work to do our job and continue to provide services for people.  Unfortunately our mayor will be putting a freeze on all spending which stops all projects and community development as it is.  Ill see how I can manage this and try to continue pushing forward with my programs and projects. 

Antigua's many doors and colors

This transition will be bittersweet in the sense that most of the people I work with will be gone and I have to start the process all over again of getting to know people, gaining 'confianza' and understanding the work dynamic.  On the other hand some people need to go and having the chance to make new friends and have new opportunities to work with people is more exciting than it is disappointing of going through the process again.  In the time I have been here working with the current administration, I have fostered some great professional relationships and have a team that acts as my go to people who I usually talk with, make plans with and eat lunch with from time to time.  It is just another change but seeing them go will be tough.  The only thing that you can do is forge on and keep doing the best that you can. 

Projects are coming along and my bottle school is looking more and more like it will actually happen.  We are still collecting bottles and once we have enough we will begin our next step.  Unfortunately the elections have placed a little halt in the process but I will have to be patient and do the things I can now and let the rest take care of itself when it is time.  

Filling bottles with students

Ive learnt a lot about control being here in Guatemala.  People who know me pre Peace Corps may have said I was a control freak and liked things the way I liked to have them (who doesn’t right?).  But, Peace Corps throwing all the stuff it has at you can make you easier going and some might even say a little less uptight.  There are things you can control in life and there are things that you can’t.  Most of the things you control are your effort, your personality, and most importantly how you react to things when they happen.  Im not going to lie, things can get tough here and weigh you down, but it’s more of how you react to the adversity that will make or break you.  If you let things get under your skin good luck, but if not, then you have to keep walking with one foot in front of the other.

I just had a great visit from a long time friend.  I have included some pictures that I took when she was here as we were able to get to Lake Atitlan and see some of Antigua as well.  It was good to get out of my site and area and see Guatemala and its stunning landscape and natural beauty.  I need to take more opportunities to get out and travel around the country and see some things before my next year is up.  It was also great to see a great friend and great to reconnect.

A flower

sunrise on the lake